Hamster Wheel of Life
Are
You Spinning Your Wheels?
By Holly Stokes, The Work Smart Wellness Coach
Do you feel like you are caught in the hamster wheel of
life? Spinning your wheels and seeming to get nowhere? Each January is a
marker of a new year, and a wonderful time to take measure of our progress, and
re-focus ourselves for the coming year. All too often, however, the good
intentions we made in January slowly fade and are gone by February. If when you
hear “goal setting? you think of hard work, past failures, and think ? why
bother, you may have been caught on the hamster wheel before. This article is
for those who’ve ever been caught on that wheel, those who have fallen off the
wheel, and those who want to make their forward motion really count!
The Wheel: Typically, our path to achievement is to
think of what we want, then set a goal, stick with it a couple of days, (maybe
even a week or two), make some forward motion, then lose focus and revert to
our old ways. It’s not over yet thought, because we then berate ourselves for
failing the goal, and wonder, why can’t I just be more disciplined? Time
passes, we think about what we “should? be doing, and the vicious cycle
repeats. Or, we forget about trying again, but are left feeling guilty, “lazy?
or “undisciplined.? If you are focusing your efforts simply on setting and
achieving goals, you may be missing most of the battle. If achieving your goals
feels like struggle, you need to take a look at what is going on behind the
scenes.
What is going on behind the scenes? Glad you asked.
It is our thoughts and feelings that inspire action and inaction. Would you
agree that our thoughts affect our actions? Do our feelings affect our
thoughts? Do our feelings affect our actions? As you can see, actions,
thoughts, and feelings are inter-related. It works like a pyramid, with actions
at the top, and thoughts and feelings making up the base. If we focus only on our outcomes, (actions)
and don’t take into account our thoughts and feelings, we may be losing the
battle and missing most of the action.
The problem with goal setting is in how we pick our
goals in the first place. Many times we pick our goals to fill a lack, without
even being aware of what that lack is.
To begin identifying what’s really going on, try this exercise. It’s best
to do it now as it will only take a few minutes. Take out a clean sheet of
paper and divide it into 3 columns. On the right column, list everything you
want. It can be anything, a new car, more money, friends, family, etc. Then in
the middle column, identify the benefit of what that goal will give you. In the
third column, identify the benefit of the benefit.
What’s really going on? What do you want ‘ What it
will give you ‘ The Benefit of the Benefit. For example, if I say I want X
amount of dollars, I might identify that it will allow me to pay my bills
easily, and the benefit of the benefit (paying bills easily) might give me a
sense of freedom. From this process, I can see that ultimately, what I really
want is freedom. The benefit of the benefit is your Ultimate Why.
How to get off the hamster wheel: Identify your
Ultimate Whys. Usually the Ultimate Whys are a sense of something, a feeling,
or a way of being. The secret is, you don’t have to wait until you’ve made X
amount of dollars, or filled some other goal in order to have that Ultimate Why
now in your life. You can have it now ? and it’s free!
Now, look back through your list of the Ultimate Whys, and
look for recurring themes. For instance, you might find stability comes up a
few times, or freedom or adventure. Put a star next to the themes that are
recurring for you. Pick one that repeats in your list for the next exercise.
For our example, we will use freedom.
Create what you really want now: On a separate sheet
of paper, brainstorm all the ways you can connect with that freedom now. Find
ways that are easy and within reach, something you can do daily, or weekly.
Freedom might be taking a walk at noon
or perhaps taking time on Saturday to visit a local tourist spot that you have
been meaning to see for awhile. Come up with several ways to create it now in
your life. Then make it happen, set aside time to let yourself connect with
your Ultimate Why. Make this your first goal, but since words carry weight, and
goals depict pass/fail and past struggle, let’s call it a plan instead. Make
plans, not goals.
Re-evaluate your wants: In light of this exercise,
and being aware of what you really want, re-evaluate your wants list.
Identify which wants are still worthwhile and important to you. Prioritize them
and then turn them into plans.
Stop the cycle of struggle: Many times, if we are
unaware of what the goal will bring us, we may be sabotaging our efforts. For
example, if my want is to earn X amount of dollars, and as I begin to make more
money, I take part of the new cash flow and buy a new car (create a new bill),
it may not be adding to my freedom or peace of mind, but will be taking away
from it. In this mode of focusing only on goals, we are running on that hamster
wheel, spinning the wheel, but feeling like we are not making progress, because
we are not getting what we really want. When people are caught on the
hamster wheel, they move from one goal to the next, “If only I could make more
money, then I will have peace of mind, then I will be happy.? The secret is, you can have what you
really want right now. And by taking care of what you really want, you
multiply your forward motion, and enjoy the entire journey.
When you begin making your plans from a place of
satisfaction and happiness, life becomes an expression of who you are, what you
love, and the possibilities continue to expand. Your business becomes a vehicle
for filling your life’s mission and purpose , and adding to the lives of those
around you.
About the author
Coach. If you’re not 100% in love with your life, body, and business ? We
should talk! For a related article and
more strategic planning tips, see “Don’t Set One More Goal and Other Strategic
Solutions? at www.ExpandingPotentials.Net/articles.htm Check out the free planning tools, Strategic
Planning in the articles section.
Email: Hstokes@ExpandingPotentials.Net
Tags: achieving your goals, couple of days, forward motion, good intentions, hamster, hamster wheel, holly, inaction, marker, new year, pyramid, setting and achieving goals, struggle, thoughts and feelings, vicious cycle, wellness coach, wheel, wheel of life, wheels, wonderful time
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